Sacraments of Commitment: Marriage and Holy Order

          “Let everything be done to advance God’s honor” (Johnson, 292, quoting Ignatius of Antioch), appropriately seems to reference not only the marriage ceremony, but also the couple’s actions throughout their married life. The covenantal commitment to such an intimate friendship paves the journey for each partner to have many opportunities to grow in the maturity that salves the sharing and self-giving required for such an enduring unique friendship (Cooke and Maye, 60-66). The transformation of a spouse through the loving self-giving to the other is said to be “the usual way people are saved” (66). In the midst of heart wrenching times in family life, I am sure many at times do not know who is doing the saving and who is being saved. The “link between Christian marriage and the mystery of Jesus’s act of salvation” is a tough analogy because as Dorothy Day recognized, she chose to live among the poor and accepted the consequences; blessed be the poor who did not so choose their conditions (61, referencing the theology of the Pauline epistles). It is a wonderful and awe inspiring testament of the new couple of hope and faith in the divine care and grace of the Spirit to witness a Catholic wedding buoyed by the shared joy and promise of support of those in attendance. Marriage is another event that calls for a leap of faith. Like other friendships, the relationship in marriage may only lead to personal, salvific growth when experienced, not explained. It is in becoming aware of one’s motive before responding to the other that helps discern whether one is acting “out of real love …to act like the God that was revealed in Jesus (62). It takes more than grit at times; it does take the dying of self to the other. This asks what is not available to many people.  It is no wonder many Catholics leave the Church when the dissolution of their marriage is not recognized and communion is not allowed to those who remarry after a divorce. It leaves a hole in so many lives and in the Catholic Church; should the Eucharist be offered to heal and restore the members of the Church and to the Church?

Priest, Hero, Athlete?

A student in my Religious Communication course sent me this video recently and it is perfect to share with you all this week.  It is a vocations video for Mundelein Seminary in Chicago, and it makes a strong connection between the roles of priest, hero and athlete. What do you think?

Priests and Religious to Be

The Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (CARA) consistently has interesting and relevant statistics for thinking about the church today.  Their currently ongoing study on vocations to the priesthood and religious life highlights some important connections to family, to the pastor, and to the parish community as essential to fostering a person's vocation .  Word on Fire has also analyzed and reflected on the preliminary findings of this study, check out their take on it here.

Marriage - a complicated issue!

 

I am fortunate. I am married to my best friend. My soul mate. My other half. And we firmly believe that God led us to each other early on. Too many ‘coincidences’ allowed us to meet and then to date. Thirty-five years later, we’re still very much in love and still growing together. It hasn’t always been perfect – far from it – but it’s been real. Truly in good times and in bad. Our course book notes that “...true friendship between the spouses is central – if it exists, the relationship can weather many a storm; if it is missing, there is a void that belies the external bonds between them.”* So how do people learn if they are truly friends before marriage? And if they can, will this help stop the flood of marriages that eventually end in divorce? Because the storms in life will come. One of my favorite movies is Fiddler on the Roof. There is a very appropriate song in it – Do you love me? Watch it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_y9F5St4j0 The marriage between Tevye and Golde was a pre-arranged match, but they learned to love each other. Most Americans would frown on having a pre-arranged match - I certainly would have – but the song asks a very important question that should be answered: Do you love me? How would you answer that for yourself??

Sadly, there are some marriages that simply should not continue. My daughter was the victim of abuse and ran from a marriage to protect herself and her baby. That reason for divorce was not mentioned in the Bible, but I’m fairly certain Jesus loves her then and now and understands. Many well-meaning Christians thought she should stay in this abusive relationship at all costs. My biological father walked out on my mother before I was born. The divorce was no problem, but her later marriage to the wonderful man who became my Dad was filled with issues: My mother was banned from receiving Sacraments and she was looked down upon by others in her church community. She was called an adulterer by my high school religion teachers – a word a vehemently denied. Later, the pope gave his blessing to have the first marriage annulled and my mother was free to participate once again in the Mass. And in some odd way, I felt like I suddenly became illegitimate.

Marriage, commitment, friendship, sacrament. And we see that with anything involving people – very complicated indeed!

 *Photo: The Wedding of the Virgin from http://www.catholictradition.org/Galleries/stained-glass31.jpg

Cooke, Bernard and Macy, Gary. Christian Symbol and Ritual: An Introduction. New York: Oxford University Press, 2005. Print.