It takes a Community of Faith

The readings from SacrosanctumConcilium this week recommend that both Matrimonial vows and religious profession be made “during Mass” (Ch. 3:78, 80).  It is fitting that our friends and family are witness to the most important events of our life.  In their book, Christian Symbol and Ritual, Cook and Macy maintain that “there is nothing more meaningful in our lives than the relationships we have to others” (57), after all, “the particular relationships we have had and have and how we have reacted to them determine who we are” (57).  Those in the community, usually friends and family members who gather to witness the sacramental ceremonies, whether it is ordination or matrimony have walked with us for a time and made an impact on our life, helping to shape the person that we have become.  The added gift of celebrating during Eucharist is a great blessing.  As someone who was married first in a civil ceremony and then later had my wedding blessed in the Catholic tradition at Mass, I can tell you that the two experiences were worlds apart.  The civil ceremony was over in 10 minutes and it left me feeling cheated, not because there was no hoopla or big wedding, but because it did not seem sacred or special to me. At our Catholic ceremony, when my husband and I stood before God, surrounded by friends and family members who supported and loved us, our commitment to one another was solidified and made holy.  I felt strengthened by the presence of friends and family and by the knowledge that God had blessed our union.   When marriage is celebrated “during a Christian Eucharist – there is a sense of divine approval and support along with an implicit awareness that the ritual of human love reflects the greater mystery of divine care and concern” (65).

After 44 years of marriage, my husband and I have certainly been through a lot of change, some good and some not so good.  As Cook and Macy point out, “marriage should be a public witness to the self-sacrifice that transforms people” (66). True love makes you want to give yourself away to the other; true love binds you together.  “The relationship between Christian spouses is sacramental, revelatory, of the continuing self-gift of the risen Christ to his followers” (61).

image credit: christianmarriagehq.com

Friendship and Marriage

Throughout my life I have always heard that typically the person we fall in love and eventually marry is someone who is first our friend. One could argue that there is “no common pattern we follow;” we meet people, whether at work or perhaps through interests such as sports or church group, and we become friends (Cooke and Macy 55). Eventually, we may kiss and date some of these people, perhaps even falling in love. Throughout life we have many experiences and will meet many people; however, only a few become lifelong friends. Among my best friends, some of them I became close with pretty quickly; others, it took a while, sometimes a few years to establish that close bond. However, whether it is friendship or marriage, we must always love and cherish them as we love and cherish God and our Savior, Jesus Christ. We honor our Father in our interactions with our friends. We can do this through communication and through always being loving and caring to our friends (57-58). Of course, our friendships stay alive also through all the experiences, whether it’s going to Disneyland once a year or gathering together once a month for prayer.

One of these people I have faith I will become friends with (if not already) is my future wife.  Marriage is has been around since Adam and Eve; however, it took several centuries for the fullness of the rituals to celebrate the Sacraments. A determined ritual for a valid marriage was not fully recognized until the Council of Trent in the 1500s (59). However, it is not the ritual that makes marriage so special. Central to making marriage special is a commitment to everlasting love and friendship with one another; it is this commitment that leads to not only sexual bonding, but the willingness to have the strength to be pure for each other. It goes back to the idea that just as we are committed to our true friends, we should be even more committed to our spouse (60). When we are truly committed, we want what’s best for our friend and spouses – even if it’s to tell them no. If we know that their decisions are not truly glorifying God nor helping themselves grow, it is up to us to help them (61).

When we make our commitment we are doing so in a gathering in a church to receive the Sacrament of Matrimony. We gather together in the Church as members of the Body of Christ – we are all part of one community. The whole point of this celebration is so that our families and friends and priest can truly be there as witnesses in our journey of growth (62-63).  This community is one that is diverse – full of family, friends – both lifelong and acquaintances – and of course our spouse. Through the development and growth of our community and friendships, then marriage will be fully attained. While the ritual is important, it is more about community and the love and commitment that truly make a marriage last forever. And it all starts with friendship in  the following of Jesus’s teachings.

Lawyer's Leading Blog for Week 13

Lawyer’s Blog

Week 13

What first caught my eye in this week’s reading was the terminology consisting of matrimony. As someone whose never been married, I nevertheless have a high degree of respect and admiration for the relational concept of marriage. I would like to think I am like most people when failing to view matrimony as a sacrament. I personally prefer to think of marriage in the way it is mentioned in the Christian Bible. I imagine it is somewhat okay to stress matrimony as the religious sacramental rite; but, I tend to think far greater emphasis should be placed on the more deepened description of matrimony as the ultimate merging of two human beings (man and woman only). Failure to stress this lack of biblical definition and instead be more inclined to be focused on the ceremonial aspect of the matrimonial event, seems to compel persons to enter into the circumstances of marriage without knowing the gravity and meaningfulness of the decision to marry within the scope of God’s divine definition. I am well aware of the normality of couples growing together and gradually becoming better intertwined during the course of their marital relations. Unfortunately, the lack of couples’ familiarity with the biblical and spiritual meaningfulness of marriage prior to entering into holy matrimony has in my opinion become one of the most common reasons for divorce representing the failure of a marriage.

 What I find disappointing about the discussion of matrimony in the SACROSANCTUM CONCILIUM is the failure to mention what stance the Church has taken to ensure pre-marriage counseling. There should be some dedicated commitment on the part of all congregational leadership to firmly stress the biblical and spiritual significance of to those engaged to enter into holy matrimony; rather than solely stress the ceremonial dimension of marriage. In my possible ignorance of the subject, I could be wrong to be critical of Christianity in this regard. If this is so,  I encourage anyone to correct me.  

 

 

Right after 9-11, I watched soldiers recommit to the oath they had made when they entered the Army. That day changed everything for them and their families- where they would be stationed, plans for further training, the high schools where their kids graduated, the jobs the spouses had... This did not even compare to the upheaval that came for those who were deployed to Iraq that spring. The men I knew had entered the Army for a lot of reasons, some for college or West Point, others had gotten medical or law degrees. Yet none of them backed away from the promises they had made as the second Gulf War began.  I was amazed at how their families geared up to support them and each other. I later found out that nothing I had learned at that time  prepared me to be on the other side--as the mother of a deployed  Marine.

We hold that we are better for those willing to serve our country even though most of us cannot truly understand what their dedication costs. With their choice they exemplify a list Christian values: to put self behind concern for others, to follow decisions you do not make (from superiors and government), to be dedicated and committed no matter the surprises, to be willing to care for your brothers in arms and even face death if need be. This is what I find missing in Cooke and Macy’s look at the history of ministry in the Christian church. The origin of these positions, how they came about or how biblical they are, is eclipsed by the gift given when people are willing to meet a higher standard and use their talents and lives for the rest of us.

I count myself lucky that I have known so many people in ministry that have touched me with the divine through their concern and example. Many of them are smart and educated to the point that they could be making be drawing large salaries in another line of work. Their life choice separates them, but like the military it is a two edged sword. It brings little pay, hard work that is demanding and can be inconsiderate of their time, and too often a lack of appreciation.

I was awed by my first ordination, just a couple of years ago, a beautiful liturgy and celebration.  I am just as awed by the chance to see how those new priests have put themselves and talents into their ministries. Having grown up with a priest in my family, I know the religious are just human. I want to stay awed by that too—that Christianity works and we all can do better than humanly possible.   That the touch of the divine comes through dedication and commitment, and sometimes a lot of time on our knees….

 

Cooke, Bernard J. and Gary Macy. Christian Symbol and Ritual: An Introduction. Oxford

                New York. 2005. Print.

Can Someone Give Me a Hand?

I was drawn immediately to the texts on ordination and rituals of service and ordination.  As a commissioned minister in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) I identify with many of the different aspects of “ordination.”  As always I have to bore some of you with some background as to how my church functions in this respect and to how we got to this position.

Early in our evolution as a denomination, before we were even thought of as a denomination, one of our founders, Alexander Campbell, was extremely anti-clerical.  He was so anti-clerical that his father, Thomas Campbell had to temper his son’s words in a series of essays. In keeping with the attempt at unity Thomas Campbell, “alarmed at the…boldness of his son in handling so roughly persons considered sacred that he sought to contribute milder essays to soften [Alexander’s harsh condemnation] of those who were elected to the position of ordained ministry” (Crow 86).  Alexander could make his anti-clerical remarks from a comfortable position because he was a successful farmer and publisher.  He was also influenced by the anti-clerical remarks attributed to John Locke.  However, at this time the Christian Church had yet to gain it’s wonderful parenthesis (Disciples of Christ) and Barton Stone, the leader of the then identified Christian Church held  a “higher doctrine of the ordained ministry, especially in the administration of the sacraments” (Crow 86).

So, fast forward to 1968 when we adopted the provisional design of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) The Design a document that would eventually lead to ratification and set the standard for ordination of ministers.  If you don’t already have enough to read check out this link to the Theological Foundations and Policies and Criteria for the Ordering of Ministry of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) Ordering of Ministry .  I would submit that if you are that adventurous that you check out 659 C. The Ordain Ministry.  Here you will find out that we have a structure and biblical approach to who and how ministers are ordained.

So, how is my story linked to all of this?  I’m a commission minster.  Because I am engaged in a Master’s degree level program, I have been given the approval of my region to care for the spiritual well-being of the congregation I serve.  Commissioned ministers are in most respects able to marry and to bury, as well as baptize. 

Reading Johnson and the other texts I was profoundly hit by the numerous references to the laying on of hands.  In the picture above, you will see me.  This is from my commission ceremony.  From Acts 6:2b-6 to 1 Timothy 4:12-16, to the apostolic tradition whereby “when all give consent, they shall lay hands on him” (Johnson 320), to the “laying on of hands [as] the sign of the gift of the Spirit, rendering the visible fact that the was instituted…in Christ," we as members of the DOC adhere to this most special right of the laying on of hands. 

As I was brought to my knees and had all of our deacons and elders lay hands on me as well as our regional minster, I was so humbled.  When you go to your knees and asked to stay there in a place of worship you find yourself humbled into a child-like presence.  Everything that you have striven to achieve concerning studying theology, biblical exegeses, and learning about your church tradition ceases to exist, and it’s just you, God, and those who surround you.  Somebody gave me a hand that day, but the most tremendous moment of that day was when I felt the hand of God on my shoulders saying, “You don’t do this alone.”

Crow, Paul A, Jr. "Ministry And The Sacraments In The Christian Church (Disciples Of Christ)." Encounter 41.1 (1980): 73-89. ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials. Web. 14 Apr. 2015.