Friendship and Marriage

Throughout my life I have always heard that typically the person we fall in love and eventually marry is someone who is first our friend. One could argue that there is “no common pattern we follow;” we meet people, whether at work or perhaps through interests such as sports or church group, and we become friends (Cooke and Macy 55). Eventually, we may kiss and date some of these people, perhaps even falling in love. Throughout life we have many experiences and will meet many people; however, only a few become lifelong friends. Among my best friends, some of them I became close with pretty quickly; others, it took a while, sometimes a few years to establish that close bond. However, whether it is friendship or marriage, we must always love and cherish them as we love and cherish God and our Savior, Jesus Christ. We honor our Father in our interactions with our friends. We can do this through communication and through always being loving and caring to our friends (57-58). Of course, our friendships stay alive also through all the experiences, whether it’s going to Disneyland once a year or gathering together once a month for prayer.

One of these people I have faith I will become friends with (if not already) is my future wife.  Marriage is has been around since Adam and Eve; however, it took several centuries for the fullness of the rituals to celebrate the Sacraments. A determined ritual for a valid marriage was not fully recognized until the Council of Trent in the 1500s (59). However, it is not the ritual that makes marriage so special. Central to making marriage special is a commitment to everlasting love and friendship with one another; it is this commitment that leads to not only sexual bonding, but the willingness to have the strength to be pure for each other. It goes back to the idea that just as we are committed to our true friends, we should be even more committed to our spouse (60). When we are truly committed, we want what’s best for our friend and spouses – even if it’s to tell them no. If we know that their decisions are not truly glorifying God nor helping themselves grow, it is up to us to help them (61).

When we make our commitment we are doing so in a gathering in a church to receive the Sacrament of Matrimony. We gather together in the Church as members of the Body of Christ – we are all part of one community. The whole point of this celebration is so that our families and friends and priest can truly be there as witnesses in our journey of growth (62-63).  This community is one that is diverse – full of family, friends – both lifelong and acquaintances – and of course our spouse. Through the development and growth of our community and friendships, then marriage will be fully attained. While the ritual is important, it is more about community and the love and commitment that truly make a marriage last forever. And it all starts with friendship in  the following of Jesus’s teachings.